Tomorrow is the last day of another chapter in my book. When I got the email from my new job exactly 2 weeks ago, I had a whole mixture of emotions. And that mixture of emotions went up and down like a roller coaster these last two weeks. I would be sad about leaving my […]
Recent Posts
I Don’t Talk.
It’s funny how one small sentence someone says or one thought… can lead to another thought and another… and all of a sudden I am completely devastated about my life and myself. Oh man. When I thought that my life couldn’t get any more chaotic, this week happened. I’m pretty sure I stated in my […]
New Changes & New Chances.
Oh hi. It’s the start of a new chapter tomorrow. I feel…I don’t know. Everything just feels surreal. From the moment I got my start date, to working my last two weeks and working my last day at my other job. Quitting that job was something I wanted & needed in this past year, especially […]
(lack of) APPRECIATION & RECOGNITION.
As I’m starting my last week at this job… the words “APPRECIATION” and “RECOGNITION” are appearing in my head multiple times. As I was walking towards my classroom, someone told me “Did you change your mind?” I said no and then said, “Just know that you are appreciated”. I didn’t know I was appreciated because […]
Outside Influences & Second-Guessing.
I feel like a majority of my decisions in life have been influenced by the “opinions” of others. Mainly my mother, which I talk about a lot in therapy. So I won’t go into full details here. I feel so unsure and anxious when making decisions a lot because of these outside influences. I had […]
I want to go back to the time where I didn’t spend a majority of my night worrying.
What if…? Did I forget this? Did I make the wrong decision? Did I do something wrong? Why haven’t _____ responded? And everything ending with the WORST POSSIBLE SCENARIOS PLAYING AND REPLAYING IN MY HEAD. Why did this start happening? When did this start happening and how did escalate to this level? It’s been intense […]
“WELL I’M DOING THIS FOR ME”.
It finally happened. I am leaving the job that I’ve been complaining about for the past months/year. As soon as I got the email that told me my start date. I immediately became anxious and overwhelmed. I have pictured in my mind (for months) about what would happen when I would put in my two […]
It finally happened.
I’m going back to therapy. & it couldn’t have started at the right time. This week, I’m having an immense amount of anxiety and I’m kind of scared of it. And I’m now realizing it’s a series of anxiety attacks. The trigger happened on Monday after a stressful and overwhelming last hour of my shift. […]
The Beginning. Of the (almost)End.
January of the new year has literally been a roller coaster of emotions. It’s almost the end of the month and I cannot even believe that all these crazy things happened in just a matter of weeks. I have two more days of this month and I don’t even know. This year, I wanted to […]
In that moment, I was just going to completely give up on everything.
Day 2 of the New Year and I am already convinced that this year will not be better than last year. It all started before 1:30am when I woke myself up from a nightmare. I had a nightmare that I was trapped in an escape house. Not an escape room but a house. And it […]
The End & The Beginning.
In the past couple of weeks, I have: started a blog post, stare at it, and exit out of it without finishing it or publishing it. It’s been rough, real rough. And I didn’t feel like expressing how I felt into words and just soaked in every raw emotion that I felt. It’s New Years […]
