One of my ways to self-cope/ease my mind from depression and anxiety is to journal. I have two sources for journaling. Sometimes I just write in a journal, simple as that. Writing on this blog is another form of journaling to me. Because sometimes when I think about something, I think it is worthy enough […]
Recent Posts
I’m Waiting for Something Bad to Happen…
(Let’s do a NO EDIT, write everything down post). How many times can I say how F*CKING HORRIBLE THIS YEAR WAS?! It just doesn’t seem real. And looking back, I think… “WAIT, THAT WAS ALL IN 8 MONTHS”. With what’s going on in the world and with myself. It really has affected me to the […]
WHY AM I NOT GOOD ENOUGH?
I actually had a pretty good week at work, was soo ready for a 3 day weekend & here I am crying…. I feel so depressed and I feel like crap. Last week, I talked about my relationships to my therapist. My relationships with: exes, friends, cousins, etc. As I talked about each type of […]
Trauma & Changes.
These past two weeks have been hard for me: emotionally, mentally and physically. My week off was far from relaxing and my week back was overwhelming. The very first day of my “vacation”, I decided to share my feelings towards this guy I’ve been talking to. I started to have feelings for him & I […]
Just Because I’m “SHY” doesn’t mean I’m less of a person.
I am an introvert. So I’m always associated with the word “SHY”. And I hate that word. It’s always brings out such a negative energy with it. “You’re so shy and quiet” “Don’t be shy!” “She’s shyyyyy…..” I heard that word “SHY” the day before my week off in December when I had a meeting […]
Having Depression and Anxiety Does Not Make You a Bad Person.
I know the looks. I know the stares. I know the body language. I know the tones in their voice. I know the fake smiles. I have major depressive disorder. & I have anxiety. I’m not a bad person. And yet… the looks, the stares, the body language, the tones and the fake smiles directed […]
Changes: LIFE GOES ON.
Tomorrow is the last day of another chapter in my book. When I got the email from my new job exactly 2 weeks ago, I had a whole mixture of emotions. And that mixture of emotions went up and down like a roller coaster these last two weeks. I would be sad about leaving my […]
& Not Enough.
There was a post I saw on Instagram (teachersfollowteachers). And it said: “I’M DOING TOO MUCH AND NOT ENOUGH” And I have never related so much to a…. quote. That’s how I feel about teaching and that’s how I feel about my life. I have always felt that I wasn’t enough and that I’m not […]
I DON’T KNOW ANYMORE.
(This will probably be a no-edit blog post because I’m tired). Last week was rough. During therapy, I was non-stop crying throughout the whole 50 minutes. I’ve hit rock bottom before and have been in a dark depression. But these past weeks (last week especially), I fell into such a dark place that I haven’t […]
I WANT A BREAK FROM MYSELF.
I think I posted awhile back about writing letters to people in my life, without actually sending it to them. It was a way to let out my feelings for someone and an outlet to express what I would like to tell someone. There are many reasons why I don’t send it. And basically, I […]
The little Things Can Leave a HUGE Effect
It’s amazing how one small thing can escalate into multiple things, like a snowball effect. It started off with a conversation from a student’s parent. I won’t share details but it had to deal with a “bully” problem, which wasn’t a bully problem. It was taken out of context. But any parent “concern” all comes […]
Taking A Day Off…From my Mental Health
Welp… Last week was overwhelming. I was: Irritable Depressed Overwhelmed Suicidal Anxious Frustrated GAVE UP. I was supposed to have plans over the long weekend last weekend with someone, but they didn’t reply to my messages. And I was left wondering “WHAT HAPPENED?” as expressed in my last post. That’s when I decided I needed […]
BE KIND TO EVERYONE.
*TRIGGER WARNING: SUICIDE* I’m tired of getting no closure. I can’t count the amount of times that I got left (aka ghosted) with no explanation. It just happened to me yet again with a guy that I was talking to. But this time, without any warning. He asked me to hang out over the weekend […]
F*CK. Depression is hard.
As I have probably mentioned I have experienced more anxiety symptoms in the past 5 years than depression. And depression is hard. I was going to write about other topics today on this blog. But I’m f*cking depressed. I kinda felt OFF this week. I was irritable. I was hungry, but had no appetite. I […]
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This year: Wow. It’s finally the last day of it. For the past couple of weeks, I’ve been creating a book about my experiences in 2020: the ups, the downs, the heartbreaks, the movies and songs that helped create a small sense of joy, the struggles and the achievements. I had a panic attack yesterday. […]
N.E.G.A.T.I.V.E.
I always think negatively and it’s not because I’m a negative person, it’s because I’m terrified when something positive comes into my life. Because that positive light can disappear or be taken away from me. I can’t count the amount of times where I got my hopes up & was disappointed immediately afterwards. It’s scary […]
