Ever since I graduated in May, I have been waiting for December.
It’s the first holiday season, where I didn’t have to dismiss my holiday traditions, didn’t have to stress out over finals & didn’t have to get last minute presents.
This is how my December schedule looked like in the past 2 years:
It was full of due dates, final exams, presentations, papers & work.
My December schedules have been this way for all the years that I’ve been in school.
During that time, I always thought “I really hope that all this hard work will be worth it”.
And this was the first year that I didn’t have a busy schedule of studying, writing papers, getting ready for presentations & finishing up my internship hours while working.
This year, I’ve graduated & just have to worry about work.
I finally got to sit and enjoy watching my favorite Christmas movies. And I got to decorate the Christmas tree, while listening to my favorite Christmas songs.
But, yesterday was so special to me.
I haven’t been able to go to Disneyland around the Christmas time in years & Disneyland around this time is so magical.
I wanted to cry so many times because I kept on thinking about how stressed out & exhausted I were at this time for the past years. And all that hard work was worth it for the many moments that I was extremely happy yesterday.
It’s not easy for me to be truly happy. I always have to fake a smile or pretend that I’m happy or okay.
& yesterday, there were many moments where I was purely happy.
And I wanted to cry, because it’s been so long since I’ve been truly happy.
It was an amazing feeling.
Just by riding my favorite rides, screaming with joy was amazing. And then the sun went away and the lights in the park were shining brightly.
The lights at “It’s a small world” were mesmerizing.
And I was so amazed by it, that I felt like I was a little kid with the biggest smile.
And then, we watched the fireworks.
(I haven’t seen the fireworks in over 5 years. I wasn’t able to see the fireworks at Disney World and I haven’t been able to see the fireworks during my other Disneyland trips because I had to leave early due to work at 6:30am the next day…. I took this morning off).
During the entire time that the fireworks and Main St. projections were going on, I just kept on thinking… “All that hard work did pay off”
That moment and the entire day was so special to me.
I finally understood how it felt to be truly happy again.