“Oh you’re single, let’s find you a boyfriend”

Apparently, it’s not okay to be single? 

Every time someone asks me if I have a boyfriend, I say no. Their response to that is ask…why not? And then add, “but you’re so pretty”. They proceed to say that I “need” a boyfriend.

Then they somehow become a matchmaker and  say that they have someone that would be “perfect” for me.

What is the definition of “perfect”? How do they know that whatever friend they have would be a perfect match for me? Most of the time is because that guy is attractive and appearance wise, we would be so-called “cute together”.

People don’t get that it’s not entirely all about appearance. And not everyone has the same types when it comes to significant to others. And most of the time when someone finds someone that is “perfect” for me, I don’t think they are my type. 

Why is it not okay to be single? Why can’t I just be okay without a boyfriend?

I am OKAY with being single. I am fine.
For the longest time, I believed that having a boyfriend was the answer to finding happiness. That my entire happiness came from that one individual.

But I was wrong.

Because you don’t stay with that person forever and they take that happiness away. And you’re stuck alone without any happiness because you gave it all to that guy.

You make your own happiness. Not one person is your definition of happiness.

There are different compartments of happiness. It’s not one thing, one place and definitely not one person.

My past relationships were great and then ended horribly. Many times of deep depression came from the breakups.

It was twice in a row when I had boyfriends that loved me. Then they found someone else during our relationship. Then they say that they want to break up and be single. Then I find out soon later that they were with that “someone else”.

I was heartbroken. And my heart breaking quickly turned into a deep depression.

The fact that it happened in one relationship and then the next boyfriend does the same thing.

You lose your trust and faith into people.

I haven’t been in a relationship since then. I didn’t want to experience that pain anymore. It’s a horrible feeling and having it two times in a row kills you.

It took me awhile to accept being single. It took me awhile to find other ways to make me happy and not find just any guy to take away the loneliness and “make you happy”.

Along with the heart break that I have experienced. I have seen the heartbreak that close family and friends have gone through. 

It’s not fun. It’s not fun being all happy and in love with someone and then all of a sudden they make you feel like shit. 

That is why I am currently single. I can’t go through heart break again. It’s so hard to trust people these days.

I am completely fine with being single. I went to school, had internships and went to work at the same time…and graduated college. That is what you do when you’re single. You move on and live.

You focus on yourself. You focus on your own priorities and goals.

When the right time comes, someone amazing will come into your life.

I know that I still need to work on myself and continue to be brave and strong. That’s why it’s not the right time for me to be in a relationship.

Everything happens for a reason.
-Mel 

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