I don’t know why I like to hurt myself.

Not physically, but mentally.

When I can’t sleep at night, I always tend to search for people of my past (an ex or two, an old friend).

And then I compare my current life to their current life.

And I feel like shit. Because I feel like my life is not as fulfilling as their life APPEARS TO BE.

It messes with my head so much.

And I do this so many times when I can’t sleep at night which makes me have more trouble falling asleep.

I do this to myself.

I start listening to sad songs that make me cry.

BUT TONIGHT….

Then I started listening to songs that motivate me instead.

 

I need to remind myself of all the great things that I have accomplished and experienced in my life.

I am a teacher. I just watched my first pre-kindergarten class graduate yesterday. I graduated while working and having a full load of classes and internships. I graduated despite having depression and and anxiety.

 

I need to get away from social media. It’s all fake. Everyone will always show the best out of their lives.

 

I need to sleep.

-Mel

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