“And So I Kept Living” (TWLOHA)

I kept living. 

I have been a supporter of To Write Love on Her Arms since I was 16 or 17? I am 27 now. Basically since I was a teenager listening to Punk Rock music. I saw Haley Williams of my favorite band Paramore wearing their shirt and I wanted to know what it meant.

When I found out that it was an organization that helped people like me, I started supporting it. People like me who feel alone, people like me who thought about taking their own life, people like me who have depression. At that time, I had no idea that there were other people who felt the same way as me. 

During that time in my life, I knew I was sad. I knew that I was depressed, but I was in denial about it. I didn’t understand  how I felt so unhappy about my life and the people around me felt so… happy. I had lots of family and friends around me, but I felt so alone because no one knew how I felt.

When I found out about TWLOHA, that is how I knew that I wasn’t alone. I wasn’t alone in how I felt. There were other people out in the world who knew exactly how I felt.

I wanted to help. I still want to help. 

One day I wanted to search “depression” on tumblr to see what others say about it. I cried the entire night reading about other people’s stories and how they felt. I wanted to tell to them so badly that they are not alone and that I felt the same way too.

because I realized that I’m not alone when it comes to depression and I want to help others who feel the same way I do

I kept living. I talked about suicide on this blog : Attempts at suicide  & I DIDn’t KILL MYSELF.

But I kept living….

There are probably a hundred reasons why I stayed alive. But most of all, I stayed alive because I know there are so many people who feel alone like I do, who feels like their  world is hitting rock bottom and who feel like they won’t feel better.

They are not alone. You are not alone.

So I kept living… to make sure that anyone that feels depressed and alone, know they are not alone.

We can get through this together.

-Mel

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