Mental Breaks.

I was driving home from work and all these thoughts just flooded my mind and without any warning…I started to cry and cry.

There are many moments when I want to cry, but can’t.

That’s when my depression is the worst when I can’t cry. I just become so numb that it’s hard for my emotions to express itself.

I need a break.

I was going to talk about something else in this post.

But I ended up thinking…I need to take care of my mental health.

I felt the anxiety build up this weekend and felt it escalate more when I left work and was driving home.

Once I got home, I kept on telling myself that I’ll deal with whatever sh*t that I need to deal with on another day.

I need to breathe.

My anxiety has increased significantly for the past couple of weeks and I don’t know how to handle it.

I need a mental break.

I used to give myself these breaks a lot. But somehow I forgot about these and need to reintroduce it back into my life.

My definition of a mental break : a moment of minutes, hours or days where I take care of my mind. No worries. No deadlines. Letting my body and mind fall asleep whenever it’s ready and not force myself to sleep (even though it’ll kill me in the morning for work). Focusing on my body and my mind to notice the tension that depression and anxiety is putting on it and let it relax.

It’s a time for me to breathe, decrease anxiety and refocus my mind. 

I don’t know when this mental break will end, it could be in the morning or the end of the day tomorrow. I might need to extend my mental break for another day, just because I had so many depressive thoughts and anxiety lately.

It will end when I’m ready.

Good night.

-Mel

 

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