Easier said than done. I left work on Friday with an uneasy feeling that made want to leave, due to an unexpected “announcement”. I couldn’t stop imagining the next couple of weeks with this unexpected announcement. I only thought about how much I couldn’t go to work because I was going to be filled with […]
Month: June 2017
I’m doing it all wrong.
There are days like today when I worry excessively. I worry about every action and decision that I make. I worry that I forgot something or forgot to do something. I worry that I didn’t hear something correctly and I’m making things up in my head. I worry that I did something wrong. Then something […]
One week.
I needed a break this weekend. I spent too many days these past couple of weeks crying in my car on the way home from work. I’m done. I’ve worked so hard and I do my best not to complain and just do my job. But this is not worth it. It’s not worth the […]
How did you do it?
To my 15 year old self, to my 19 year old self, to my 22 year old self: How did you go through it? How did you manage to get through it? Through rock bottom and still live.It seems like a blur to me now. How did you not fucking just end things? Oh because […]
No more daydreams.
Something in me feels like I’m supposed to be somewhere else than where I am currently at. I know that I want this to happen. But this is something that I’m feeling and not a daydream. But the problem is that I don’t know where I’m supposed to be or what I’m supposed to do. […]
Year 28.
Well I officially made it. 10 years of living. 28 years of life. Happy Birthday to me. But it actually doesn’t feel like my birthday. It’s June 5, the day I was born and it doesn’t feel like my birthday, but it feels like something is different. Something in me that I haven’t felt before. […]
9 years. 364 days.
I turn 28 tomorrow and it’s been 10 years since the age that I wanted to end my life. My birthday is important to me. Not because it’s my birthday, not because I turn another number. But because I’m alive and stayed alive. I don’t know how I did it. Because as much pain I’ve […]
