I’m doing it all wrong. 

There are days like today when I worry excessively. 

I worry about every action and decision that I make.

I worry that I forgot something or forgot to do something.

I worry that I didn’t hear something correctly and I’m making things up in my head.

I worry that I did something wrong.  Then something bad will happen and then it’ll be my fault. 

Why don’t I trust myself?

Why am I always worrying that I’m doing something wrong? 

Why do I need reassurance that the things that I’m doing are correct?

I’m tired of feeling this way. 

Not feeling confident in my decisions and trusting my mind… I hate this feeling. 

I just want my mind to relax. I want my mouth to stop clenching and stop grinding my teeth. I want this uneasy feeling inside of me to stop.

What can I do? 

-Mel 

2 Comments

  1. Hi there. Stumbled on your blog randomly. I’m wondering, do you take any medication or go to therapy? I’m completely understanding of where you’re at right now and feel like I need to take control but know it’s out of my hands. So I’m curious to see how other people cope with these feelings of depression and anxiety.

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    1. Hello! I used to take Zoloft and I used to see a therapist and psychiatrist around 6 years ago. I only used the medication and saw a therapist for about 6 months and stopped. I felt like the Zoloft didn’t really do anything or affect me. And the therapist was basically telling me just to stop thinking about it. I thought it was a waste of money. I felt like I’ve coped with depression and anxiety in different ways. When I transferred to a university, I was very busy with a full load of classes, a couple of internships and work. I was able to shift and focus my mind to school and work. But depression hit as soon as it was summer or winter break. And especially after I graduated. As of right now, I have no clue how I’m coping with it. As you can see in my blog posts that I am a wreck lately. I’m just taking it one day at a time. I am not letting my emotions in and I’m letting myself cry (a lot…in the car). I am giving myself what I like to call “mental breaks” where I don’t do anything basically. I’ll just watch movies, youtube. Anything to not think about the things that make me stressed. But yea, feel free to comment and ask me anything!! It’s always nice to talk to someone that knows how you feel.

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