When am I going to change my life? 

It’s only Tuesday and I’m already feeling anxious and overwhelmed. 

Things are out of my control. 

And I don’t like it. I don’t think anyone likes it when there life is going a different way than they want it to go. 

I wanted this week to be the start of changing my life. Getting my resume done, looking for jobs, budgeting my money, etc. 

I wanted to work on my resume’ this weekend, but I didn’t feel good physically. I was tired, had a sore throat & had a huge headache. 

I have to do errands but it’s giving me so much anxiety that I have to do it another day.

I was looking forward to having a Disney Day in the beginning of October with my friend. But she can’t, and she tells me that she don’t think she can at this moment. I need that Disney day. 

I feel like my boss is discussing things more with my co-teacher as if she’s the lead teacher. And she’s still pretty much new. And basically, I’m just nothing. Oh, I still haven’t gotten that “promotion” that I was told I was going to get before summer started. 

I honestly feel worthless. 

I’m trying to be strong and trying to be motivated.

But I can’t. 

I can feel the anxiety building up in me. These small, but the shitty things that keep on coming up in my life are going to make me explode.

I know I have a lot of things to do and worry about.

But I need to focus on my mental health right now. 

If I need another day or days to calm my anxiety, then I have to do it.

Or else this anxiety inside me will…

I don’t know.

I texted the Crisis Text Line last time.

So I guess we have to decrease this anxiety before it escalates. 

-Mel 

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