Mental Health Awareness Week: Day 2

(I think this week is full of posts that I have been wanting to post, but never finished)

Things I wish people could say to me about my depression. 

Well first, let me state how people respond to depression, in this case: my depression.

I get :

  • The “You can talk to me whenever you need me” (Spoiler: they don’t always mean it)
  • “Oh I see”
  • Advice that I never asked for and it makes me feel worse
  • Silence. No communication whenever you talk about depression.
  • The silence turns to awkwardness when you see them.

One of the hardest things that I have ever done is telling people about my depression.

I believe that it takes a great deal of strength to let someone know that you are depressed or mentally ill.

You never know how people are going to respond to it.

You don’t know if they’re going to be supportive or stay away from you.

We are telling you our deepest feelings and trust you enough to tell you.

I get it. It’s hard not to know what to say or do when someone tells you about a mental illness.

It might feel like we are giving you this huge responsibility to help us. But we’re not.

We are feeling a lot of things.

Especially loneliness…

We don’t want someone to solve our “problems” or to cure our mental illness.

In a dream world of mine,

I would want someone to simply text me “Hey”, even better “How’s it going?” (sounds easy, but I don’t get any texts).

I would want someone just to listen. If I’m ever anxious about something and need to let it out of my mind, I just want someone to listen. Even if they can’t find the right words to respond, I don’t care. Just knowing they’re listening will lower my anxiety.

I would like it if someone helped bring me back to reality. Texting that Crisis Text Line helped me so much. My mind was a mess. I couldn’t tell what facts were real and which were false pictures that my depressive mind made up. The girl who helped me brought me back down to reality. My mind can go from depressive thoughts to reality and back to depressive thoughts within a minute. She didn’t give up. I was sure by the third time that I doubted myself, she was going to end that conversation. She stayed until I cooled off and came back to reality and I noticed that I was fine. My mind can go through excessive cycles or worries and overthinking that having someone tell me the reality part makes me feel less worried.

I would want someone just to ask me to hang out, even if it’s for coffee. The less loneliness I feel, the less depressed thoughts I have.

Basically, most of all…I want someone to stay and not run away every time I utter the word depression. 

I hope that sharing my: mental illness, my experiences, my struggles and my desires will help someone somewhere.

We need more love and support in this world today.

-Mel

 

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