I cried last night. I have been so numb and emotionless for the past couple of weeks.
It wasn’t a familiar cry.
Lately, my crying has been a result of a panic attack or being too overwhelmed.
This cry wasn’t like that.
I wasn’t hyperventilating and my heart wasn’t beating fast when I was crying.
All I thought about before I cried was, “I am not happy, I’m not where I want to be in life. I failed”.
It was very quiet when I cried and as more tears came out, I knew that this is something different.
It was pure sadness.
I could feel that this is something deep more than any depression or anxiety episodes that I have experienced.
I could feel the pain.
I can still feel it.
I don’t know what to do.