OVER being OVERwhelmed.

Why?

When I feel like life starts to calm down and I can focus.

Things happen, then thoughts appear, then it turns to one worry to many worries and then it leads to being OVERWHELMED. Then I can’t focus anymore.

Why??

I can’t even count how many times I’ve been overwhelmed in the past 5-6 months.

Events +unexpected occurrences+ stress just like to appear in clusters. 

It can’t just happen one at a time…oh no. It needs be the entire package. 

I feel like the past few days, I’ve tried my best to distract myself and give myself mental breaks. I can just feel the anxiety in the center of my body and I feel like if something sets it off that it’ll just explode.

Oh and then that one random thought that you don’t need to worry about until like late next week just casually appears in your head at 10:30 at night.

Oh and then that other random thought that you don’t need to worry about at this current time, not until this weekend, appears after that.

That’s just cruel.

Why??

And of course it appears at a time, when I should be sleeping.

My body is so exhausted, but my mind feels like it could run a mile. 

My mind is battling my body every night. 

My body wants to sleep….

but my mind wants to think about every possible worst scenario about my entire life and stay awake.

I hope that my body will win.

I’m exhausted.

Good night.

-Mel

 

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