Last month was horrible.
So many unexpected events, so many disappointing moments, so many moments of stress and anxiety.
I was tired of it and I’m still tired of it.
It felt like the days were long and the weeks felt longer.
And I just felt trapped in this never-ending cycle of bad sh*t happening.
Today is the first of a new month.
I wanted to start off thinking positively.
I tried. I tried and then I just felt like I was faking being positive.
And it all happened at work and just reaffirmed my decision of accepting that other job.
I was at work for less than 20 mins.
and I already felt my positivity just fighting so hard.
I had experienced someone just spreading negativity through their tone just within those 20 minutes. I had my students just not listening and caring. I had an afternoon with an immense amount of students that beat the record of other afternoons, which was already ridiculous. Then getting confused with a new procedure that was never explained to us.
As I was walking out of work, I just thought, I AM SOO GLAD IM LEAVING SOON.
So yea, I was in a very massive stressful and anxiety-triggering work day.
And sh*t, I wanted to give up so quickly.
I was fighting so hard, I didn’t want to let go of that positive thinking, even if it didn’t feel real.
I have so much to do and many errands to do by next Monday.
But I decided to give myself a break tonight.
Because if the rest of the week is a repeat of today. I just need to breathe and rest or else I would feel like I did last month.
Fight the negative.