Fighting the negative.

Last month was horrible.

So many unexpected events, so many disappointing moments, so many moments of stress and anxiety.

I was tired of it and I’m still tired of it.

It felt like the days were long and the weeks felt longer.

And I just felt trapped in this never-ending cycle of bad sh*t happening.

Today is the first of a new month.

I wanted to start off thinking positively.

I tried. I tried and then I just felt like I was faking being positive.

And it all happened at work and just reaffirmed my decision of accepting that other job.

I was at work for less than 20 mins.
and I already felt my positivity just fighting so hard.

I had experienced someone just spreading negativity through their tone just within those 20 minutes. I had my students just not listening and caring. I had an afternoon with an immense amount of students that beat the record of other afternoons, which was already ridiculous. Then getting confused with a new procedure that was never explained to us.

As I was walking out of work, I just thought, I AM SOO GLAD IM LEAVING SOON.

So yea, I was in a very massive stressful and anxiety-triggering work day.

And sh*t, I wanted to give up so quickly. 

I was fighting so hard, I didn’t want to let go of that positive thinking, even if it didn’t feel real.

I have so much to do and many errands to do by next Monday.

But I decided to give myself a break tonight. 

Because if the rest of the week is a repeat of today. I just need to breathe and rest or else I would feel like I did last month.

Fight the negative.

-MEL

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