When anxiety adds words to your thoughts.

So many things going on.

I don’t know if I’m ready to share how I feel on the deepest feelings.

But I just wanted to share/let out the thoughts in my head which makes me hate anxiety.

 I locked the door. 

I put the key back. 

But my mind and anxiety are just adding words and question marks to those questions.

Did I lock the door? 

Did I put the key back?

The word “DID” and the question mark is just building up the anxiety in me.

I try my best to replay what happened in my mind.

But then my mind and anxiety just messes it up too.

I can remember the picture in my mind of putting the key back.

But my anxiety is editing that picture to not putting the key back and making me question every move I made.

It is also creating scenes of worst possible scenarios and playing it in my mind that could happen if I did not put that key back.

Now I can’t sleep.

I hate anxiety. I hate depression.

I hate that my mind does this to me.

-Mel