Going from anxiety to depression.

I am very familiar with depression.

I am very familiar with anxiety.

& I’m very familiar with depression transitioning to anxiety.

But…

The transition from anxiety to depression is something that is unfamiliar to me.

And I don’t like it…

I had many moments of anxiety within the past week. And a million more moments of anxiety within the past year.

I have been really good at identifying my triggers and trying my best to stop them before a panic attack occurs.

And my panic attacks have been decreasing…

I have been so accustomed to anxiety symptoms and ways to help my anxiety ….so much that I have been forgetting that depression is tough.

It hit me today.

Depression.

Out of nowhere. Nothing extremely big happened to make me feel depressed.

It happened during nap time at work (I’m a Pre K teacher, if you’re confused) and when I went on my lunch, I just left. I drove a block away and stayed in my car. I didn’t feel well emotionally and mentally and I had to leave.

I wasn’t hungry. I felt so tired all the time. I tried my best to do my best at work. I do my work, but I probably look extremely exhausted.

And now as I’m thinking back to my symptoms of depression. But damn…now I’ve realized why I haven’t been able to sleep well lately.

It’s INSOMNIA. And it’s back with depression.

Yup. It’s depression. When insomnia starts to show up, it’s depression.

I don’t know.

It’ll come soon. When I break down and cry for hours.

Even though I’ve had depression since I was 14 (I’m 30 now).

I will never be prepared for how much depression affects me.

Physically. Mentally and Emotionally.

-Mel

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