So I was going to write a post on how something “bad” always follows something good happening in my life.
After hearing some unexpected news at work that pissed me off and fueled some fire in me.
I wanted to go to my car, drive around and hopefully cry or scream to express my feelings.
But I couldn’t.
Well F*ck, my life is never easy, it’s always difficult. I have to work 10x harder than anyone else and never get any credit. And I feel like I always get the short end of the stick.
Life just teases me with something good…only to take it away and replace it with something bad.
The universe is telling me, ” NO MEL, you can’t have something good in your life. You’re happy? NOPE. Let’s take that away and make you suffer.”
So instead of getting more: angry, frustrated, stressed, depressed, anxious about the situation and think about how it might affect the other aspects of my life….
I’m avoiding it..
I’m having a solo dance party to a concert of my favorite band Paramore.
One of my favorite songs from them is “FAKE HAPPY”.
And it represents who I am. I am pretending to be okay when I’m not. ALWAYS.
And in that song….
“I know I said that I was doing good and that I’m happy nowParamore
I should’ve known that when things are going good
That’s when I get knocked down”
That last part.
“when things are going good. That’s when I get knocked down” (Paramore)
That is my life.
Lets wait and see what happens next in my life.
It’s most likely bad. And it will make me anxious, stressed or depressed.
So tonight…. I’m just gonna dance around with no one watching and pretend everything is okay!