Oh here we are again.. It’s morning and the sun isn’t up yet. And I’ve been up for almost 2 hours. Out of everything that I experience with depression and anxiety, I hate insomnia the most. I’ve experienced insomnia even before I was diagnosed with major depressive disorder. When I was younger, I would wake […]
Author: melalarcon
T H E R A P Y
I’ve spent the first couple days of my vacation doing absolutely nothing. I’m so physically, mentally and emotionally drained from work and the other aspects of my life that cause anxiety and depression. So I’ve just been switching from the couch to my bed watching Netflix, Youtube or Disney +. I have a consultation with […]
My Perspective(s) on Relationships.
I’ve been thinking about how my perspectives on relationships have changed throughout my lifetime. I wrote a post… a couple of weeks ago. Stating that I want to be loved by someone. After being single for so long, I just couldn’t understand why I couldn’t find someone who likes me… for me. I was very […]
Good news.Then Bad news. Always.
So I was going to write a post on how something “bad” always follows something good happening in my life. After hearing some unexpected news at work that pissed me off and fueled some fire in me. I wanted to go to my car, drive around and hopefully cry or scream to express my feelings. […]
Being A Teacher is Hard.
I’ve wanted to become a teacher ever since I was in 1st grade. Because of my teacher at that time. I didn’t talk at school up until 2nd grade. (I now know that it’s called Selective Mutism) I was scared to talk at school. I don’t know the exact reason why. Maybe someone made fun […]
Am I not worthy enough to feel loved?
I’ve been single for awhile…. I had my shares of ups and downs for being single for so long. I had accepted being single for a long time. Because looking back at my past relationships and the heartbreak and pain that I was experiencing wasn’t worth it. If I was meant to be single for […]
4 AM
This is the THIRD Saturday in a row where I have woken up at 4am. No nightmares. Not feeling too cold or too hot. No loud noises waking me up. Just naturally waking up at 4am. And I wrote my previous post around 11pm last night and fell asleep around 12:45am. So yea… I didn’t […]
Why am I still here?
I’m going to be honest here. And say that at this moment, I’m crying and having a hard time breathing. I usually wait until after a panic attack or suicidal thoughts to write these. But I need to say everything that I’m feeling in the state that I’m currently in. I don’t want to be […]
I Gave Myself a Mental Health Day.
If you read my last post…then it probably gave you an insight on why I’m giving myself a mental health day today. I knew when I got the call saying that my work was open after the “Stay at Home” order, I knew that I was not ready to go back. The anxiety and panic […]
Negativity Energy is Powerful.
I wrote an entire post a couple of days ago of how this virus has affected me mentally all of last week because I still had to work. But I felt like I was complaining too much and being way too negative, so I deleted it. In that post, I explained how each day brought […]
