It finally happened. I am leaving the job that I’ve been complaining about for the past months/year. As soon as I got the email that told me my start date. I immediately became anxious and overwhelmed. I have pictured in my mind (for months) about what would happen when I would put in my two […]
Author: melalarcon
It finally happened.
I’m going back to therapy. & it couldn’t have started at the right time. This week, I’m having an immense amount of anxiety and I’m kind of scared of it. And I’m now realizing it’s a series of anxiety attacks. The trigger happened on Monday after a stressful and overwhelming last hour of my shift. […]
The Beginning. Of the (almost)End.
January of the new year has literally been a roller coaster of emotions. It’s almost the end of the month and I cannot even believe that all these crazy things happened in just a matter of weeks. I have two more days of this month and I don’t even know. This year, I wanted to […]
In that moment, I was just going to completely give up on everything.
Day 2 of the New Year and I am already convinced that this year will not be better than last year. It all started before 1:30am when I woke myself up from a nightmare. I had a nightmare that I was trapped in an escape house. Not an escape room but a house. And it […]
The End & The Beginning.
In the past couple of weeks, I have: started a blog post, stare at it, and exit out of it without finishing it or publishing it. It’s been rough, real rough. And I didn’t feel like expressing how I felt into words and just soaked in every raw emotion that I felt. It’s New Years […]
Running away.
Literally & Mentally. Anxiety & Depression had made me freeze in certain situations and “run away” from my problems literally and mentally. There are many times at work when I get too overwhelmed and get anxious about a situation that I freeze and just move away to avoid it or try to block it from […]
Symptoms Searching.
I hate this part of my anxiety. Where you accidentally do something or a random symptom appears and then all of a sudden, you research your symptoms and overthink. And then sometimes you think you’re going to lose your vision, going to have some virus or think you’re going to die. This just happened to […]
When your mental health affects your physical health.
Maybe it’s the stress. The stress that comes from daily life of dealing with work, financial stuff, relationships, etc. But when you add that unexpected worry about the smallest thing or feeling really down and want to lay in bed all day OR the opposite when you overthink everything about your life and can’t sleep […]
My Current State of Depression.
I don’t feel like talking. I don’t feel like moving. I want to just lay on the couch or stay in my room all day. I didn’t really want to eat. I just feel like the world is moving around me and I’m just there…numb. I did cry. I don’t know. I feel stuck in […]
I CAN’T FORGIVE THEM.
Last Christmas. I was in a different room away from my cousins and hundreds of other relatives on Christmas. I did try to be around my cousins. But as I stood near or next to them, the more I felt like I was unwanted. No one really talked to me or acknowledged that I was […]
