I apologized to myself today. I had a really rough week at work. I’ve had rough weeks before, but this one tops them all. (Let’s put it this way: I’m about to lose my voice and I have two pimples. And I haven’t had pimples in years). Today, I just woke up and had a […]
Author: melalarcon
& Not Enough.
There was a post I saw on Instagram (teachersfollowteachers). And it said: “I’M DOING TOO MUCH AND NOT ENOUGH” And I have never related so much to a…. quote. That’s how I feel about teaching and that’s how I feel about my life. I have always felt that I wasn’t enough and that I’m not […]
I DON’T KNOW ANYMORE.
(This will probably be a no-edit blog post because I’m tired). Last week was rough. During therapy, I was non-stop crying throughout the whole 50 minutes. I’ve hit rock bottom before and have been in a dark depression. But these past weeks (last week especially), I fell into such a dark place that I haven’t […]
I WANT A BREAK FROM MYSELF.
I think I posted awhile back about writing letters to people in my life, without actually sending it to them. It was a way to let out my feelings for someone and an outlet to express what I would like to tell someone. There are many reasons why I don’t send it. And basically, I […]
The little Things Can Leave a HUGE Effect
It’s amazing how one small thing can escalate into multiple things, like a snowball effect. It started off with a conversation from a student’s parent. I won’t share details but it had to deal with a “bully” problem, which wasn’t a bully problem. It was taken out of context. But any parent “concern” all comes […]
Taking A Day Off…From my Mental Health
Welp… Last week was overwhelming. I was: Irritable Depressed Overwhelmed Suicidal Anxious Frustrated GAVE UP. I was supposed to have plans over the long weekend last weekend with someone, but they didn’t reply to my messages. And I was left wondering “WHAT HAPPENED?” as expressed in my last post. That’s when I decided I needed […]
BE KIND TO EVERYONE.
*TRIGGER WARNING: SUICIDE* I’m tired of getting no closure. I can’t count the amount of times that I got left (aka ghosted) with no explanation. It just happened to me yet again with a guy that I was talking to. But this time, without any warning. He asked me to hang out over the weekend […]
F*CK. Depression is hard.
As I have probably mentioned I have experienced more anxiety symptoms in the past 5 years than depression. And depression is hard. I was going to write about other topics today on this blog. But I’m f*cking depressed. I kinda felt OFF this week. I was irritable. I was hungry, but had no appetite. I […]
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This year: Wow. It’s finally the last day of it. For the past couple of weeks, I’ve been creating a book about my experiences in 2020: the ups, the downs, the heartbreaks, the movies and songs that helped create a small sense of joy, the struggles and the achievements. I had a panic attack yesterday. […]
N.E.G.A.T.I.V.E.
I always think negatively and it’s not because I’m a negative person, it’s because I’m terrified when something positive comes into my life. Because that positive light can disappear or be taken away from me. I can’t count the amount of times where I got my hopes up & was disappointed immediately afterwards. It’s scary […]
