It doesn’t feel like I’m starting a new decade, a new age and a new year in less than 2 hours. It doesn’t feel like it’s my birthday in a couple of hours. Honestly, I’m exhausted from these past couple of months of: ending a new job, starting a new job. Going to watch my […]
Category: mental health
I don’t want to cry on my birthday again this year.
Early. I would get soo excited. Make big plans. Days before leading to my birthday and even after my birthday. Go on a trip. Or go to Disneyland. Go to concerts. Have family parties. Stay up until midnight. I would have high hopes. Then get disappointed. I was watching a video I MADE FOR MYSELF […]
Thanks for the music.
My 30th Birthday is coming up. And I wanted to end my last days of my 20s by listening to the music that helped me throughout my almost 30 years of life. I had different phases: An MTV PHASE that started with TLC. Then it turned into a long phase of POP music from watching […]
I felt like I was going to die.
I had a panic attack 2 days ago. The WORST PANIC ATTACK I’ve ever experienced. It all started with the “what if’s?” after work. It was a rough day at work that day. So my anxiety-filled mind went to “what if tomorrow is like today but worse?”. Then what if this happened to this kid […]
My mind can be a bully.
So I did it. Ended my first week at my new job. From the very beginning of this week, I was so positive. & then my mind got to me and basically made me feel worthless. Starting a new job is hard. You have to learn so many things from new policies and procedures and […]
New Changes & New Chances.
Oh hi. It’s the start of a new chapter tomorrow. I feel…I don’t know. Everything just feels surreal. From the moment I got my start date, to working my last two weeks and working my last day at my other job. Quitting that job was something I wanted & needed in this past year, especially […]
Changes: LIFE GOES ON.
Tomorrow is the last day of another chapter in my book. When I got the email from my new job exactly 2 weeks ago, I had a whole mixture of emotions. And that mixture of emotions went up and down like a roller coaster these last two weeks. I would be sad about leaving my […]
(lack of) APPRECIATION & RECOGNITION.
As I’m starting my last week at this job… the words “APPRECIATION” and “RECOGNITION” are appearing in my head multiple times. As I was walking towards my classroom, someone told me “Did you change your mind?” I said no and then said, “Just know that you are appreciated”. I didn’t know I was appreciated because […]
Outside Influences & Second-Guessing.
I feel like a majority of my decisions in life have been influenced by the “opinions” of others. Mainly my mother, which I talk about a lot in therapy. So I won’t go into full details here. I feel so unsure and anxious when making decisions a lot because of these outside influences. I had […]
“WELL I’M DOING THIS FOR ME”.
It finally happened. I am leaving the job that I’ve been complaining about for the past months/year. As soon as I got the email that told me my start date. I immediately became anxious and overwhelmed. I have pictured in my mind (for months) about what would happen when I would put in my two […]
