Tomorrow is the start of September. And I honestly don’t know how August just suddenly ended. Because I feel like I didn’t fully experience this month. It was a crazy month. It became a month of uncertainty. I didn’t know what each day consisted of. And there were nights where I would worry on what […]
Category: relationship
Anxiety ruins my life.
I just had a first date with this guy I’ve been talking to, for about a month. I thought the date went well and I want to see him again. But immediately, as soon as I said bye to him. My anxiety kicked in. What if he didn’t like me? What if all the hype […]
I’m Trying My Best.
I am not sure which year was worse 2020 or 2021 (and we’re only in March). I’m not shocked at the things that have happened to me, but I am disappointed. Every time I try to be positive and just deal with the things that have come my way. Life hits me with another obstacle. […]
ONE YEAR: Since everything changed.
March 13, 2020. I remember that day so distinctly. Prior to that day, I had seen what COVID did to everyone else in the world with: temperature checks, panic buying, lockdowns and quarantines. And that day…. was the day, when it came to my part of the world. We had a teacher development day on […]
I’m Fooling Myself.
I lied. I wrote a post this morning and basically deceived myself thinking that I’m okay. And going through all these obstacles is okay. And it’s not. Today was hard. And it was supposed to be an easy day. I got stuck in traffic, which we haven’t had traffic in the mornings for about a […]
I’m Sorry Mel.
I apologized to myself today. I had a really rough week at work. I’ve had rough weeks before, but this one tops them all. (Let’s put it this way: I’m about to lose my voice and I have two pimples. And I haven’t had pimples in years). Today, I just woke up and had a […]
I DON’T KNOW ANYMORE.
(This will probably be a no-edit blog post because I’m tired). Last week was rough. During therapy, I was non-stop crying throughout the whole 50 minutes. I’ve hit rock bottom before and have been in a dark depression. But these past weeks (last week especially), I fell into such a dark place that I haven’t […]
I WANT A BREAK FROM MYSELF.
I think I posted awhile back about writing letters to people in my life, without actually sending it to them. It was a way to let out my feelings for someone and an outlet to express what I would like to tell someone. There are many reasons why I don’t send it. And basically, I […]
The little Things Can Leave a HUGE Effect
It’s amazing how one small thing can escalate into multiple things, like a snowball effect. It started off with a conversation from a student’s parent. I won’t share details but it had to deal with a “bully” problem, which wasn’t a bully problem. It was taken out of context. But any parent “concern” all comes […]
F*CK. Depression is hard.
As I have probably mentioned I have experienced more anxiety symptoms in the past 5 years than depression. And depression is hard. I was going to write about other topics today on this blog. But I’m f*cking depressed. I kinda felt OFF this week. I was irritable. I was hungry, but had no appetite. I […]
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