*TRIGGER WARNING: SUICIDE* I’m tired of getting no closure. I can’t count the amount of times that I got left (aka ghosted) with no explanation. It just happened to me yet again with a guy that I was talking to. But this time, without any warning. He asked me to hang out over the weekend […]
Category: Uncategorized
F*CK. Depression is hard.
As I have probably mentioned I have experienced more anxiety symptoms in the past 5 years than depression. And depression is hard. I was going to write about other topics today on this blog. But I’m f*cking depressed. I kinda felt OFF this week. I was irritable. I was hungry, but had no appetite. I […]
JOURNAL JOURNEY.
One of my ways to self-cope/ease my mind from depression and anxiety is to journal. I have two sources for journaling. Sometimes I just write in a journal, simple as that. Writing on this blog is another form of journaling to me. Because sometimes when I think about something, I think it is worthy enough […]
Time x Messages.
Oh hey. Mel here. The start of my 2 week vacation & this is another episode of “I was sleepy, then I laid down and tried to sleep but my mind wouldn’t stop overthinking…so now I’m wide awake”. After finding out from 2 sleep study tests (because 1 test didn’t record all the information), I […]
I’m Waiting for Something Bad to Happen…
(Let’s do a NO EDIT, write everything down post). How many times can I say how F*CKING HORRIBLE THIS YEAR WAS?! It just doesn’t seem real. And looking back, I think… “WAIT, THAT WAS ALL IN 8 MONTHS”. With what’s going on in the world and with myself. It really has affected me to the […]
Pain:Mental & Physical.
It has been a rough week. I was hit with some unexpected moments….then depression occurred. Followed by panic attacks. Followed by hitting rock bottom. Followed by suicidal thoughts. Followed by: nausea, upset stomach, migraines and forcing myself to eat. I cried so much. It was the type of crying when you feel your heart break. […]
Can We Just Be Honest?
We should be over this phase of playing games when we are in our THIRTIES. If you are in a relationship or dating someone and don’t want to be with them anymore, just be honest and tell them. Don’t “ghost” them/suddenly stop communicating. If you in a relationship and you notice your feelings decrease with […]
WHY AM I NOT GOOD ENOUGH?
I actually had a pretty good week at work, was soo ready for a 3 day weekend & here I am crying…. I feel so depressed and I feel like crap. Last week, I talked about my relationships to my therapist. My relationships with: exes, friends, cousins, etc. As I talked about each type of […]
WHEN_____, THEN I WILL FEEL____.
These past couple of months have been….sh*tty. Y U P. No surprise there. If this year has taught me anything, it’s that we have no idea what the future holds. When the pandemic happened, I kept on thinking about different “future” scenarios and how it will make things better. My thoughts went like this: When […]
Finding the Positive in the Negative.
It’s finally August 1st. July was a f*cking hard month. Mentally, Physically and Emotionally. I turned the page on my calendar from July to August. A calendar where I write down one positive thing that happened in the day. If it was a hard day, I made myself find one positive thing that occurred. Many […]
