I just had a first date with this guy I’ve been talking to, for about a month. I thought the date went well and I want to see him again. But immediately, as soon as I said bye to him. My anxiety kicked in. What if he didn’t like me? What if all the hype […]
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I had a panic attack at my cousin’s wedding.
It’s been a couple of months since my last post. But I thought it was important to share what happened on the day of my cousin’s wedding. My last post talked about how I felt so out of place and felt like I didn’t belong in my family, when I was at the rehearsal dinner. […]
ONE YEAR: Since everything changed.
March 13, 2020. I remember that day so distinctly. Prior to that day, I had seen what COVID did to everyone else in the world with: temperature checks, panic buying, lockdowns and quarantines. And that day…. was the day, when it came to my part of the world. We had a teacher development day on […]
I’m Fooling Myself.
I lied. I wrote a post this morning and basically deceived myself thinking that I’m okay. And going through all these obstacles is okay. And it’s not. Today was hard. And it was supposed to be an easy day. I got stuck in traffic, which we haven’t had traffic in the mornings for about a […]
How to react to unfair situations.
Last month was horrible. Oh wait, life has not stopped being horrible since 2019 ( and basically my whole life). Don’t get me wrong, I am extremely grateful for everything in my life. I understand that others have it worse than me. It just feels like the universe just keeps hitting me with hard situations, […]
I WANT A BREAK FROM MYSELF.
I think I posted awhile back about writing letters to people in my life, without actually sending it to them. It was a way to let out my feelings for someone and an outlet to express what I would like to tell someone. There are many reasons why I don’t send it. And basically, I […]
BE KIND TO EVERYONE.
*TRIGGER WARNING: SUICIDE* I’m tired of getting no closure. I can’t count the amount of times that I got left (aka ghosted) with no explanation. It just happened to me yet again with a guy that I was talking to. But this time, without any warning. He asked me to hang out over the weekend […]
F*CK. Depression is hard.
As I have probably mentioned I have experienced more anxiety symptoms in the past 5 years than depression. And depression is hard. I was going to write about other topics today on this blog. But I’m f*cking depressed. I kinda felt OFF this week. I was irritable. I was hungry, but had no appetite. I […]
JOURNAL JOURNEY.
One of my ways to self-cope/ease my mind from depression and anxiety is to journal. I have two sources for journaling. Sometimes I just write in a journal, simple as that. Writing on this blog is another form of journaling to me. Because sometimes when I think about something, I think it is worthy enough […]
Time x Messages.
Oh hey. Mel here. The start of my 2 week vacation & this is another episode of “I was sleepy, then I laid down and tried to sleep but my mind wouldn’t stop overthinking…so now I’m wide awake”. After finding out from 2 sleep study tests (because 1 test didn’t record all the information), I […]
