(Let’s do a NO EDIT, write everything down post). How many times can I say how F*CKING HORRIBLE THIS YEAR WAS?! It just doesn’t seem real. And looking back, I think… “WAIT, THAT WAS ALL IN 8 MONTHS”. With what’s going on in the world and with myself. It really has affected me to the […]
Category: Uncategorized
Pain:Mental & Physical.
It has been a rough week. I was hit with some unexpected moments….then depression occurred. Followed by panic attacks. Followed by hitting rock bottom. Followed by suicidal thoughts. Followed by: nausea, upset stomach, migraines and forcing myself to eat. I cried so much. It was the type of crying when you feel your heart break. […]
Can We Just Be Honest?
We should be over this phase of playing games when we are in our THIRTIES. If you are in a relationship or dating someone and don’t want to be with them anymore, just be honest and tell them. Don’t “ghost” them/suddenly stop communicating. If you in a relationship and you notice your feelings decrease with […]
WHY AM I NOT GOOD ENOUGH?
I actually had a pretty good week at work, was soo ready for a 3 day weekend & here I am crying…. I feel so depressed and I feel like crap. Last week, I talked about my relationships to my therapist. My relationships with: exes, friends, cousins, etc. As I talked about each type of […]
WHEN_____, THEN I WILL FEEL____.
These past couple of months have been….sh*tty. Y U P. No surprise there. If this year has taught me anything, it’s that we have no idea what the future holds. When the pandemic happened, I kept on thinking about different “future” scenarios and how it will make things better. My thoughts went like this: When […]
Finding the Positive in the Negative.
It’s finally August 1st. July was a f*cking hard month. Mentally, Physically and Emotionally. I turned the page on my calendar from July to August. A calendar where I write down one positive thing that happened in the day. If it was a hard day, I made myself find one positive thing that occurred. Many […]
I Deserve Better.
It’s 4am on a work day. I hate waking up in the middle of the night and not falling back asleep. But I guess 4am is the time for realizations. Yesterday was a very frustrating day at work. It was like, a tiny thing in the universe was out of sync and it made my […]
Missing.
(This will be an unedited post because I have to go to work) In the past couple of years, I’ve associated crying with: depression, anxiety, being overwhelmed and frustrated. This morning, I was driving on my way to work listening to the same playlist I listen to every morning. And then, I listened to Ben […]
Trauma & Changes.
These past two weeks have been hard for me: emotionally, mentally and physically. My week off was far from relaxing and my week back was overwhelming. The very first day of my “vacation”, I decided to share my feelings towards this guy I’ve been talking to. I started to have feelings for him & I […]
3:47 A.M.
Oh here we are again.. It’s morning and the sun isn’t up yet. And I’ve been up for almost 2 hours. Out of everything that I experience with depression and anxiety, I hate insomnia the most. I’ve experienced insomnia even before I was diagnosed with major depressive disorder. When I was younger, I would wake […]
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