Last month was horrible. So many unexpected events, so many disappointing moments, so many moments of stress and anxiety. I was tired of it and I’m still tired of it. It felt like the days were long and the weeks felt longer. And I just felt trapped in this never-ending cycle of bad sh*t happening. […]
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Write it down.
I started to panic this morning, more like an hour ago. I was stressing out over getting paperwork and all the things I needed to get for my new job done. Then as I was driving to get errands done, more worries began appearing in my head. Then I began second-guessing my decision about the […]
Making the wrong decision?
Many people ask if they are making the right decision. I ask, AM I MAKING THE WRONG DECISION? So do you follow what your logical brain is telling you or do you follow your instincts ? With following what my last post said. I don’t know what to do with this job offer. […]
I don’t fight for myself.
I know that I deserve better than whatever my life gives me, but I don’t fight for it. I settle. I don’t bicker, complain, whine, get furious or fight with my words…out loud. It’s all in my head or in this blog. I am terrified of fighting for myself or defending myself. & my past […]
Stay.
Hey. I really wanted to write so many posts for Suicide Prevention Week. But my week was full of stress and anxiety attacks, so it never happened. It’s funny how it’s Suicide Prevention Week, but honestly I felt like getting away from here so badly this entire week. This morning I was helping my parents […]
I let depression take over.
I didn’t want to fight it tonight. I was tired of fighting it. If I kept on fighting it in this weak state, I’m in…it will get worse. I didn’t want to think about anything else except my feelings and focusing on what’s going on in :my mind, my heart and my body. Letting myself […]
dear me, love mel.
I don’t know what to feel today. Depression and anxiety are beating the crap out of me. I just needed to write a letter to myself. Apologizing to myself for letter depression and anxiety win. But we will continue to fight. Good night. -Mel
(RE)focus.
At some point within the last couple of days, I just felt like I was going to explode with the amount of thoughts circling around my head. I’m pretty sure that’s what my last post was all about. I wanted to spend this weekend (re)focusing. I watched the movie To All the Boys I’ve Loved […]
OVER being OVERwhelmed.
Why? When I feel like life starts to calm down and I can focus. Things happen, then thoughts appear, then it turns to one worry to many worries and then it leads to being OVERWHELMED. Then I can’t focus anymore. Why?? I can’t even count how many times I’ve been overwhelmed in the past 5-6 […]
The TWO things that make me happy.
The TWO things that make me happy. Disney & Paramore. Happiness is something so rare and so precious to me. It’s not just being happy. It’s pure and absolute joy. It’s the ability to focus on what’s going on NOW, not thinking about the past or future. It’s not having all these worried thoughts bouncing […]
