Welp… Last week was overwhelming. I was: Irritable Depressed Overwhelmed Suicidal Anxious Frustrated GAVE UP. I was supposed to have plans over the long weekend last weekend with someone, but they didn’t reply to my messages. And I was left wondering “WHAT HAPPENED?” as expressed in my last post. That’s when I decided I needed […]
Recent Posts
BE KIND TO EVERYONE.
*TRIGGER WARNING: SUICIDE* I’m tired of getting no closure. I can’t count the amount of times that I got left (aka ghosted) with no explanation. It just happened to me yet again with a guy that I was talking to. But this time, without any warning. He asked me to hang out over the weekend […]
F*CK. Depression is hard.
As I have probably mentioned I have experienced more anxiety symptoms in the past 5 years than depression. And depression is hard. I was going to write about other topics today on this blog. But I’m f*cking depressed. I kinda felt OFF this week. I was irritable. I was hungry, but had no appetite. I […]
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This year: Wow. It’s finally the last day of it. For the past couple of weeks, I’ve been creating a book about my experiences in 2020: the ups, the downs, the heartbreaks, the movies and songs that helped create a small sense of joy, the struggles and the achievements. I had a panic attack yesterday. […]
N.E.G.A.T.I.V.E.
I always think negatively and it’s not because I’m a negative person, it’s because I’m terrified when something positive comes into my life. Because that positive light can disappear or be taken away from me. I can’t count the amount of times where I got my hopes up & was disappointed immediately afterwards. It’s scary […]
JOURNAL JOURNEY.
One of my ways to self-cope/ease my mind from depression and anxiety is to journal. I have two sources for journaling. Sometimes I just write in a journal, simple as that. Writing on this blog is another form of journaling to me. Because sometimes when I think about something, I think it is worthy enough […]
Time x Messages.
Oh hey. Mel here. The start of my 2 week vacation & this is another episode of “I was sleepy, then I laid down and tried to sleep but my mind wouldn’t stop overthinking…so now I’m wide awake”. After finding out from 2 sleep study tests (because 1 test didn’t record all the information), I […]
I’m Waiting for Something Bad to Happen…
(Let’s do a NO EDIT, write everything down post). How many times can I say how F*CKING HORRIBLE THIS YEAR WAS?! It just doesn’t seem real. And looking back, I think… “WAIT, THAT WAS ALL IN 8 MONTHS”. With what’s going on in the world and with myself. It really has affected me to the […]
Progress:Therapy
2020….YUP. It just continues to surprise me. I started my therapy sessions on the 1st of July and I’ve had a session every week since then. In my previous experiences with therapy, I would either go to therapy every other week, then at least once a month. And overall, it would last 2-3 months. There […]
Pain:Mental & Physical.
It has been a rough week. I was hit with some unexpected moments….then depression occurred. Followed by panic attacks. Followed by hitting rock bottom. Followed by suicidal thoughts. Followed by: nausea, upset stomach, migraines and forcing myself to eat. I cried so much. It was the type of crying when you feel your heart break. […]
