This is the THIRD Saturday in a row where I have woken up at 4am. No nightmares. Not feeling too cold or too hot. No loud noises waking me up. Just naturally waking up at 4am. And I wrote my previous post around 11pm last night and fell asleep around 12:45am. So yea… I didn’t […]
Tag: mental health awareness month
Why am I still here?
I’m going to be honest here. And say that at this moment, I’m crying and having a hard time breathing. I usually wait until after a panic attack or suicidal thoughts to write these. But I need to say everything that I’m feeling in the state that I’m currently in. I don’t want to be […]
Write on…
I prefer writing over typing any day. When I was in college, I always bought a notebook for notes,even though I brought my laptop everywhere with me. In my room, I have about a thousand journals. All unfinished. All with a different purpose. Writing. Physically. For different purposes. There’s just something about it. In school, […]
“It’s National Suicide Prevention Week. And just a couple of hours ago, I wanted to end my life.”
It’s National Suicide Prevention Week. Yesterday was World Suicide Prevention Day. And just a couple of hours ago, I wanted to end my life. Typically around this time, I will talk about the importance of this week. But this year, I have been quiet about it. These past couple of weeks have been a whirlwind […]
Having Depression and Anxiety Does Not Make You a Bad Person.
I know the looks. I know the stares. I know the body language. I know the tones in their voice. I know the fake smiles. I have major depressive disorder. & I have anxiety. I’m not a bad person. And yet… the looks, the stares, the body language, the tones and the fake smiles directed […]
I don’t want to cry on my birthday again this year.
Early. I would get soo excited. Make big plans. Days before leading to my birthday and even after my birthday. Go on a trip. Or go to Disneyland. Go to concerts. Have family parties. Stay up until midnight. I would have high hopes. Then get disappointed. I was watching a video I MADE FOR MYSELF […]
Thanks for the music.
My 30th Birthday is coming up. And I wanted to end my last days of my 20s by listening to the music that helped me throughout my almost 30 years of life. I had different phases: An MTV PHASE that started with TLC. Then it turned into a long phase of POP music from watching […]
Depression sucks.
I held it in all day. The frustration, the anxiety, the moments of feeling depressed. I had to. I was at work. As soon as I turned right on the main street after leaving work. All the feelings that I held inside for 8 hours just exploded. I spent that 30ish min drive completely destroyed. […]
World Mental Health Day. Mental Health Awareness Day.
Hello. My name is Mel and I wanted to share my story. I am 29. I have been diagnosed with Major Depressive Depression. & recently I have been experiencing lots of anxiety. I didn’t know about Depression or Anxiety too much when I first started having symptoms when I was 14. I started having […]
When things are good…
I get scared. I will consistently say how horrible September was for me. Things just kept getting worse and worse. And when I had one ounce of positivity within me and around me, it was easily taken away by something stressful or frustrating. Then my mind can’t really focus. I keep on second-guessing, worrying and […]
