It’s 4am on a work day. I hate waking up in the middle of the night and not falling back asleep. But I guess 4am is the time for realizations. Yesterday was a very frustrating day at work. It was like, a tiny thing in the universe was out of sync and it made my […]
Tag: mental health awareness week
4 AM
This is the THIRD Saturday in a row where I have woken up at 4am. No nightmares. Not feeling too cold or too hot. No loud noises waking me up. Just naturally waking up at 4am. And I wrote my previous post around 11pm last night and fell asleep around 12:45am. So yea… I didn’t […]
Why am I still here?
I’m going to be honest here. And say that at this moment, I’m crying and having a hard time breathing. I usually wait until after a panic attack or suicidal thoughts to write these. But I need to say everything that I’m feeling in the state that I’m currently in. I don’t want to be […]
Write on…
I prefer writing over typing any day. When I was in college, I always bought a notebook for notes,even though I brought my laptop everywhere with me. In my room, I have about a thousand journals. All unfinished. All with a different purpose. Writing. Physically. For different purposes. There’s just something about it. In school, […]
Depression sucks.
I held it in all day. The frustration, the anxiety, the moments of feeling depressed. I had to. I was at work. As soon as I turned right on the main street after leaving work. All the feelings that I held inside for 8 hours just exploded. I spent that 30ish min drive completely destroyed. […]
World Mental Health Day. Mental Health Awareness Day.
Hello. My name is Mel and I wanted to share my story. I am 29. I have been diagnosed with Major Depressive Depression. & recently I have been experiencing lots of anxiety. I didn’t know about Depression or Anxiety too much when I first started having symptoms when I was 14. I started having […]
When things are good…
I get scared. I will consistently say how horrible September was for me. Things just kept getting worse and worse. And when I had one ounce of positivity within me and around me, it was easily taken away by something stressful or frustrating. Then my mind can’t really focus. I keep on second-guessing, worrying and […]
Fighting the negative.
Last month was horrible. So many unexpected events, so many disappointing moments, so many moments of stress and anxiety. I was tired of it and I’m still tired of it. It felt like the days were long and the weeks felt longer. And I just felt trapped in this never-ending cycle of bad sh*t happening. […]
Write it down.
I started to panic this morning, more like an hour ago. I was stressing out over getting paperwork and all the things I needed to get for my new job done. Then as I was driving to get errands done, more worries began appearing in my head. Then I began second-guessing my decision about the […]
I don’t fight for myself.
I know that I deserve better than whatever my life gives me, but I don’t fight for it. I settle. I don’t bicker, complain, whine, get furious or fight with my words…out loud. It’s all in my head or in this blog. I am terrified of fighting for myself or defending myself. & my past […]
