As I have probably mentioned I have experienced more anxiety symptoms in the past 5 years than depression. And depression is hard. I was going to write about other topics today on this blog. But I’m f*cking depressed. I kinda felt OFF this week. I was irritable. I was hungry, but had no appetite. I […]
Tag: mental health month
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This year: Wow. It’s finally the last day of it. For the past couple of weeks, I’ve been creating a book about my experiences in 2020: the ups, the downs, the heartbreaks, the movies and songs that helped create a small sense of joy, the struggles and the achievements. I had a panic attack yesterday. […]
Time x Messages.
Oh hey. Mel here. The start of my 2 week vacation & this is another episode of “I was sleepy, then I laid down and tried to sleep but my mind wouldn’t stop overthinking…so now I’m wide awake”. After finding out from 2 sleep study tests (because 1 test didn’t record all the information), I […]
I’m Waiting for Something Bad to Happen…
(Let’s do a NO EDIT, write everything down post). How many times can I say how F*CKING HORRIBLE THIS YEAR WAS?! It just doesn’t seem real. And looking back, I think… “WAIT, THAT WAS ALL IN 8 MONTHS”. With what’s going on in the world and with myself. It really has affected me to the […]
I Deserve Better.
It’s 4am on a work day. I hate waking up in the middle of the night and not falling back asleep. But I guess 4am is the time for realizations. Yesterday was a very frustrating day at work. It was like, a tiny thing in the universe was out of sync and it made my […]
Anxious Thoughts While Feeling Sick During a Pandemic
Anxiety & COVID-19 are not a good mix. It doesn’t help that regular symptoms that I get are similar to symptoms of COVID-19. I’ve had headaches and migraines for years now. Anxiety always gives me shortness of breath. I commonly get sore throats. Today felt different waking up. I didn’t feel 100%. I felt 45%. […]
3:47 A.M.
Oh here we are again.. It’s morning and the sun isn’t up yet. And I’ve been up for almost 2 hours. Out of everything that I experience with depression and anxiety, I hate insomnia the most. I’ve experienced insomnia even before I was diagnosed with major depressive disorder. When I was younger, I would wake […]
My Perspective(s) on Relationships.
I’ve been thinking about how my perspectives on relationships have changed throughout my lifetime. I wrote a post… a couple of weeks ago. Stating that I want to be loved by someone. After being single for so long, I just couldn’t understand why I couldn’t find someone who likes me… for me. I was very […]
Good news.Then Bad news. Always.
So I was going to write a post on how something “bad” always follows something good happening in my life. After hearing some unexpected news at work that pissed me off and fueled some fire in me. I wanted to go to my car, drive around and hopefully cry or scream to express my feelings. […]
Being A Teacher is Hard.
I’ve wanted to become a teacher ever since I was in 1st grade. Because of my teacher at that time. I didn’t talk at school up until 2nd grade. (I now know that it’s called Selective Mutism) I was scared to talk at school. I don’t know the exact reason why. Maybe someone made fun […]
