It’s 4am on a work day. I hate waking up in the middle of the night and not falling back asleep. But I guess 4am is the time for realizations. Yesterday was a very frustrating day at work. It was like, a tiny thing in the universe was out of sync and it made my […]
Tag: mental health month
Anxious Thoughts While Feeling Sick During a Pandemic
Anxiety & COVID-19 are not a good mix. It doesn’t help that regular symptoms that I get are similar to symptoms of COVID-19. I’ve had headaches and migraines for years now. Anxiety always gives me shortness of breath. I commonly get sore throats. Today felt different waking up. I didn’t feel 100%. I felt 45%. […]
3:47 A.M.
Oh here we are again.. It’s morning and the sun isn’t up yet. And I’ve been up for almost 2 hours. Out of everything that I experience with depression and anxiety, I hate insomnia the most. I’ve experienced insomnia even before I was diagnosed with major depressive disorder. When I was younger, I would wake […]
My Perspective(s) on Relationships.
I’ve been thinking about how my perspectives on relationships have changed throughout my lifetime. I wrote a post… a couple of weeks ago. Stating that I want to be loved by someone. After being single for so long, I just couldn’t understand why I couldn’t find someone who likes me… for me. I was very […]
Good news.Then Bad news. Always.
So I was going to write a post on how something “bad” always follows something good happening in my life. After hearing some unexpected news at work that pissed me off and fueled some fire in me. I wanted to go to my car, drive around and hopefully cry or scream to express my feelings. […]
Being A Teacher is Hard.
I’ve wanted to become a teacher ever since I was in 1st grade. Because of my teacher at that time. I didn’t talk at school up until 2nd grade. (I now know that it’s called Selective Mutism) I was scared to talk at school. I don’t know the exact reason why. Maybe someone made fun […]
4 AM
This is the THIRD Saturday in a row where I have woken up at 4am. No nightmares. Not feeling too cold or too hot. No loud noises waking me up. Just naturally waking up at 4am. And I wrote my previous post around 11pm last night and fell asleep around 12:45am. So yea… I didn’t […]
Why am I still here?
I’m going to be honest here. And say that at this moment, I’m crying and having a hard time breathing. I usually wait until after a panic attack or suicidal thoughts to write these. But I need to say everything that I’m feeling in the state that I’m currently in. I don’t want to be […]
Hurting myself physically when I’m hurting mentally.
Yesterday was rough. Physically, emotionally and mentally. And then it was pushed way over the edge. That moment it was pushed over the edge. I had to hold it. Had to hold my emotions inside. Once I was in a safe and private area, I…..exploded. Couldn’t breathe. Couldn’t stop crying. Kept on telling myself that […]
Write on…
I prefer writing over typing any day. When I was in college, I always bought a notebook for notes,even though I brought my laptop everywhere with me. In my room, I have about a thousand journals. All unfinished. All with a different purpose. Writing. Physically. For different purposes. There’s just something about it. In school, […]
