Tomorrow is the start of September. And I honestly don’t know how August just suddenly ended. Because I feel like I didn’t fully experience this month. It was a crazy month. It became a month of uncertainty. I didn’t know what each day consisted of. And there were nights where I would worry on what […]
Tag: mental health month
Anxiety ruins my life.
I just had a first date with this guy I’ve been talking to, for about a month. I thought the date went well and I want to see him again. But immediately, as soon as I said bye to him. My anxiety kicked in. What if he didn’t like me? What if all the hype […]
I had a panic attack at my cousin’s wedding.
It’s been a couple of months since my last post. But I thought it was important to share what happened on the day of my cousin’s wedding. My last post talked about how I felt so out of place and felt like I didn’t belong in my family, when I was at the rehearsal dinner. […]
I don’t feel like I belong in my family
I can’t sleep because all the anxiety I had being with relatives today. I was at a rehearsal and rehearsal dinner for my cousin’s wedding. I’m not part of the wedding. But since my parents are part of it, then I got to go. Same with the dinner. I walked into the venue. Dressed in […]
Trying NOT to feel Guilty for Taking Care of Myself.
I called in Sick for tomorrow. I have been burnt out for the past couple of weeks. My body is exhausted. My mind is exhausted. I’ve been wanting to take a day off, but I felt like I was just making excuses to not take a day off. But the longer I waited, the more […]
I WANT A BREAK FROM MYSELF.
I think I posted awhile back about writing letters to people in my life, without actually sending it to them. It was a way to let out my feelings for someone and an outlet to express what I would like to tell someone. There are many reasons why I don’t send it. And basically, I […]
Taking A Day Off…From my Mental Health
Welp… Last week was overwhelming. I was: Irritable Depressed Overwhelmed Suicidal Anxious Frustrated GAVE UP. I was supposed to have plans over the long weekend last weekend with someone, but they didn’t reply to my messages. And I was left wondering “WHAT HAPPENED?” as expressed in my last post. That’s when I decided I needed […]
F*CK. Depression is hard.
As I have probably mentioned I have experienced more anxiety symptoms in the past 5 years than depression. And depression is hard. I was going to write about other topics today on this blog. But I’m f*cking depressed. I kinda felt OFF this week. I was irritable. I was hungry, but had no appetite. I […]
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This year: Wow. It’s finally the last day of it. For the past couple of weeks, I’ve been creating a book about my experiences in 2020: the ups, the downs, the heartbreaks, the movies and songs that helped create a small sense of joy, the struggles and the achievements. I had a panic attack yesterday. […]
Time x Messages.
Oh hey. Mel here. The start of my 2 week vacation & this is another episode of “I was sleepy, then I laid down and tried to sleep but my mind wouldn’t stop overthinking…so now I’m wide awake”. After finding out from 2 sleep study tests (because 1 test didn’t record all the information), I […]
hello melmel 