Oh here we are again.. It’s morning and the sun isn’t up yet. And I’ve been up for almost 2 hours. Out of everything that I experience with depression and anxiety, I hate insomnia the most. I’ve experienced insomnia even before I was diagnosed with major depressive disorder. When I was younger, I would wake […]
Tag: mental health month
My Perspective(s) on Relationships.
I’ve been thinking about how my perspectives on relationships have changed throughout my lifetime. I wrote a post… a couple of weeks ago. Stating that I want to be loved by someone. After being single for so long, I just couldn’t understand why I couldn’t find someone who likes me… for me. I was very […]
Good news.Then Bad news. Always.
So I was going to write a post on how something “bad” always follows something good happening in my life. After hearing some unexpected news at work that pissed me off and fueled some fire in me. I wanted to go to my car, drive around and hopefully cry or scream to express my feelings. […]
Being A Teacher is Hard.
I’ve wanted to become a teacher ever since I was in 1st grade. Because of my teacher at that time. I didn’t talk at school up until 2nd grade. (I now know that it’s called Selective Mutism) I was scared to talk at school. I don’t know the exact reason why. Maybe someone made fun […]
4 AM
This is the THIRD Saturday in a row where I have woken up at 4am. No nightmares. Not feeling too cold or too hot. No loud noises waking me up. Just naturally waking up at 4am. And I wrote my previous post around 11pm last night and fell asleep around 12:45am. So yea… I didn’t […]
Why am I still here?
I’m going to be honest here. And say that at this moment, I’m crying and having a hard time breathing. I usually wait until after a panic attack or suicidal thoughts to write these. But I need to say everything that I’m feeling in the state that I’m currently in. I don’t want to be […]
Hurting myself physically when I’m hurting mentally.
Yesterday was rough. Physically, emotionally and mentally. And then it was pushed way over the edge. That moment it was pushed over the edge. I had to hold it. Had to hold my emotions inside. Once I was in a safe and private area, I…..exploded. Couldn’t breathe. Couldn’t stop crying. Kept on telling myself that […]
Write on…
I prefer writing over typing any day. When I was in college, I always bought a notebook for notes,even though I brought my laptop everywhere with me. In my room, I have about a thousand journals. All unfinished. All with a different purpose. Writing. Physically. For different purposes. There’s just something about it. In school, […]
Is it Mental or Physical?
I’m having a hard time distinguishing if the current symptom I’m feeling is mental or physical. There are physical symptoms that I get from my mental illness of depression and anxiety. With depression, I have insomnia or loss of appetite. Or I’m just tired all the time. With anxiety, I get a sore throat when […]
Starting a new decade. Year 30.
It doesn’t feel like I’m starting a new decade, a new age and a new year in less than 2 hours. It doesn’t feel like it’s my birthday in a couple of hours. Honestly, I’m exhausted from these past couple of months of: ending a new job, starting a new job. Going to watch my […]
