I lied. I wrote a post this morning and basically deceived myself thinking that I’m okay. And going through all these obstacles is okay. And it’s not. Today was hard. And it was supposed to be an easy day. I got stuck in traffic, which we haven’t had traffic in the mornings for about a […]
Tag: mental illness
I WANT A BREAK FROM MYSELF.
I think I posted awhile back about writing letters to people in my life, without actually sending it to them. It was a way to let out my feelings for someone and an outlet to express what I would like to tell someone. There are many reasons why I don’t send it. And basically, I […]
Taking A Day Off…From my Mental Health
Welp… Last week was overwhelming. I was: Irritable Depressed Overwhelmed Suicidal Anxious Frustrated GAVE UP. I was supposed to have plans over the long weekend last weekend with someone, but they didn’t reply to my messages. And I was left wondering “WHAT HAPPENED?” as expressed in my last post. That’s when I decided I needed […]
I’m Waiting for Something Bad to Happen…
(Let’s do a NO EDIT, write everything down post). How many times can I say how F*CKING HORRIBLE THIS YEAR WAS?! It just doesn’t seem real. And looking back, I think… “WAIT, THAT WAS ALL IN 8 MONTHS”. With what’s going on in the world and with myself. It really has affected me to the […]
Progress:Therapy
2020….YUP. It just continues to surprise me. I started my therapy sessions on the 1st of July and I’ve had a session every week since then. In my previous experiences with therapy, I would either go to therapy every other week, then at least once a month. And overall, it would last 2-3 months. There […]
I Deserve Better.
It’s 4am on a work day. I hate waking up in the middle of the night and not falling back asleep. But I guess 4am is the time for realizations. Yesterday was a very frustrating day at work. It was like, a tiny thing in the universe was out of sync and it made my […]
Anxious Thoughts While Feeling Sick During a Pandemic
Anxiety & COVID-19 are not a good mix. It doesn’t help that regular symptoms that I get are similar to symptoms of COVID-19. I’ve had headaches and migraines for years now. Anxiety always gives me shortness of breath. I commonly get sore throats. Today felt different waking up. I didn’t feel 100%. I felt 45%. […]
Trauma & Changes.
These past two weeks have been hard for me: emotionally, mentally and physically. My week off was far from relaxing and my week back was overwhelming. The very first day of my “vacation”, I decided to share my feelings towards this guy I’ve been talking to. I started to have feelings for him & I […]
T H E R A P Y
I’ve spent the first couple days of my vacation doing absolutely nothing. I’m so physically, mentally and emotionally drained from work and the other aspects of my life that cause anxiety and depression. So I’ve just been switching from the couch to my bed watching Netflix, Youtube or Disney +. I have a consultation with […]
4 AM
This is the THIRD Saturday in a row where I have woken up at 4am. No nightmares. Not feeling too cold or too hot. No loud noises waking me up. Just naturally waking up at 4am. And I wrote my previous post around 11pm last night and fell asleep around 12:45am. So yea… I didn’t […]
