I prefer writing over typing any day. When I was in college, I always bought a notebook for notes,even though I brought my laptop everywhere with me. In my room, I have about a thousand journals. All unfinished. All with a different purpose. Writing. Physically. For different purposes. There’s just something about it. In school, […]
Tag: mental illness
Is it Mental or Physical?
I’m having a hard time distinguishing if the current symptom I’m feeling is mental or physical. There are physical symptoms that I get from my mental illness of depression and anxiety. With depression, I have insomnia or loss of appetite. Or I’m just tired all the time. With anxiety, I get a sore throat when […]
“It’s National Suicide Prevention Week. And just a couple of hours ago, I wanted to end my life.”
It’s National Suicide Prevention Week. Yesterday was World Suicide Prevention Day. And just a couple of hours ago, I wanted to end my life. Typically around this time, I will talk about the importance of this week. But this year, I have been quiet about it. These past couple of weeks have been a whirlwind […]
Worry Writing.
Within the past year, I would have days when I would leave work and suddenly have a random worry. I would worry about different things like: Did I leave the water on in the sink? Did I turn the AC off? Did I turn my lights off in the classroom? Did I clock out? Then […]
All I’ve Ever Wanted in these Past 15+ years of Struggling with a Mental Illness is a HUG.
The most simplest form of human connection: A HUG. And that’s something I want, but don’t get. But it’s something that I want/need when I’m struggling with depression or anxiety. I get those awkward side hugs from people, second-long hugs from relatives and hugs from my students. But those hugs are just for greetings…saying hello […]
7 months.
Tonight. I’m letting my mind and body sleep naturally. Whenever it is tired and wants to rest. No melatonin. No sleep apps. No podcasts. No audiobooks. I’m letting my mind and body experience something that it’s not used to. Letting my mind and body sleep when it’s ready, not because I’m forcing it to. I […]
The End & The Beginning.
In the past couple of weeks, I have: started a blog post, stare at it, and exit out of it without finishing it or publishing it. It’s been rough, real rough. And I didn’t feel like expressing how I felt into words and just soaked in every raw emotion that I felt. It’s New Years […]
Running away.
Literally & Mentally. Anxiety & Depression had made me freeze in certain situations and “run away” from my problems literally and mentally. There are many times at work when I get too overwhelmed and get anxious about a situation that I freeze and just move away to avoid it or try to block it from […]
Symptoms Searching.
I hate this part of my anxiety. Where you accidentally do something or a random symptom appears and then all of a sudden, you research your symptoms and overthink. And then sometimes you think you’re going to lose your vision, going to have some virus or think you’re going to die. This just happened to […]
When anxiety adds words to your thoughts.
So many things going on. I don’t know if I’m ready to share how I feel on the deepest feelings. But I just wanted to share/let out the thoughts in my head which makes me hate anxiety. I locked the door. I put the key back. But my mind and anxiety are just adding words […]
