I can’t sleep because all the anxiety I had being with relatives today. I was at a rehearsal and rehearsal dinner for my cousin’s wedding. I’m not part of the wedding. But since my parents are part of it, then I got to go. Same with the dinner. I walked into the venue. Dressed in […]
Tag: world suicide prevention day
Pain:Mental & Physical.
It has been a rough week. I was hit with some unexpected moments….then depression occurred. Followed by panic attacks. Followed by hitting rock bottom. Followed by suicidal thoughts. Followed by: nausea, upset stomach, migraines and forcing myself to eat. I cried so much. It was the type of crying when you feel your heart break. […]
I Deserve Better.
It’s 4am on a work day. I hate waking up in the middle of the night and not falling back asleep. But I guess 4am is the time for realizations. Yesterday was a very frustrating day at work. It was like, a tiny thing in the universe was out of sync and it made my […]
4 AM
This is the THIRD Saturday in a row where I have woken up at 4am. No nightmares. Not feeling too cold or too hot. No loud noises waking me up. Just naturally waking up at 4am. And I wrote my previous post around 11pm last night and fell asleep around 12:45am. So yea… I didn’t […]
Why am I still here?
I’m going to be honest here. And say that at this moment, I’m crying and having a hard time breathing. I usually wait until after a panic attack or suicidal thoughts to write these. But I need to say everything that I’m feeling in the state that I’m currently in. I don’t want to be […]
Write on…
I prefer writing over typing any day. When I was in college, I always bought a notebook for notes,even though I brought my laptop everywhere with me. In my room, I have about a thousand journals. All unfinished. All with a different purpose. Writing. Physically. For different purposes. There’s just something about it. In school, […]
“It’s National Suicide Prevention Week. And just a couple of hours ago, I wanted to end my life.”
It’s National Suicide Prevention Week. Yesterday was World Suicide Prevention Day. And just a couple of hours ago, I wanted to end my life. Typically around this time, I will talk about the importance of this week. But this year, I have been quiet about it. These past couple of weeks have been a whirlwind […]
Depression sucks.
I held it in all day. The frustration, the anxiety, the moments of feeling depressed. I had to. I was at work. As soon as I turned right on the main street after leaving work. All the feelings that I held inside for 8 hours just exploded. I spent that 30ish min drive completely destroyed. […]
World Mental Health Day. Mental Health Awareness Day.
Hello. My name is Mel and I wanted to share my story. I am 29. I have been diagnosed with Major Depressive Depression. & recently I have been experiencing lots of anxiety. I didn’t know about Depression or Anxiety too much when I first started having symptoms when I was 14. I started having […]
When things are good…
I get scared. I will consistently say how horrible September was for me. Things just kept getting worse and worse. And when I had one ounce of positivity within me and around me, it was easily taken away by something stressful or frustrating. Then my mind can’t really focus. I keep on second-guessing, worrying and […]
